Here’s an entertaining discovery.
It’s from a 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. Here are the highlights:
“Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees.”
There’s no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.
1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.
(Editor’s Note: He’s right, you know. I’m not married, and my pep takes a hit with every passing day that I can’t land a husband. And my sense of responsibility is totally in the toilet. I haven’t paid my rent in months, I spend my entire paycheck on cheap beer and my skill crane addiction -- but it’s all good. By the way, you’re kinda cute. Want to buy a gal a Pabst?)
2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.
(Hear that, older women? Shut your pie holes and get to work! And smile, ya old bags, SMILE!)
3. General experience indicates that “husky” girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.
(Whoo-hoo! Props for the fat girls! We’re even-tempered, efficient -- by God, we’re downright jolly! If only all the angry outspoken fat chicks would just go to work, the world would never have to hear us bitch about the manipulative media and the diet industry conspiracy ever again! But then again, you’d have to deal with sitting next to our husky butts on the buses and subways. Move over, world! Rosie the Riveter was an O’Donnell!)
4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.
(Yes indeed, screen yo’ bitches for PMS. One bad month and you’ll find the 18th floor copier strewn in pieces across Sixth Avenue. Gentlemen, protect your valuable property from the start!)
5. Stress at the outset the importance of time the fact that a minute or two lost here or there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.
(Chop-chop!)
6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work for themselves.
(Dude, trust me -- we already have our jobs cut out for us. We don’t need your help.)
7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.
(I’d comment here if I could, but I need a second to swallow this Prozac.)
8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.
(Yeah, and who wants their typing done by some gray-lipped hag with a no-fuss hairdo? Besides, I’ve noticed on the days when I wear tinted Chap-Stick, I get my filing done 30% faster.)
9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.
(Furthermore, she just might shove a three-hole-paper-puncher up your ass. Avoid this unfortunate manifestation of the feminine psychology and be courteous to your female workers.)
10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.
(Ummm, anybody know what the f*@# this dumb m*th%rf$#@’s talking about?)
11. Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too much in keeping women happy.
(Now here’s an item I can stand behind! How is it that the one thing on this list that makes sense hasn’t stuck around through 2008? Oh, the irony!)
(Thanks to Mirna Rivera!)
